Don't try to fix me I'm so Broken
by karea wheeler-chan
Summary: Seras has finally become the Monstor she wished she would have never become, but what is up with her master? DO NOT READ THIS! GO DOWN TO THE NEXT STORY! LEMON!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down...

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows her composure  
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders  
I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it  
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter  
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to  
I'm supposed to set an example

I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em  
If some shit ever just pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em  
Now Ja said "I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it"  
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it  
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it  
It was crazy, this shit be way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit  
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it

I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted  
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it  
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it  
That was never my object for someone to get killed  
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build  
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions was good  
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin' Suge  
Now it's just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth  
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about  
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef

So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth  
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life  
Like fuck it I understand this is business  
And this shit just isn't none of my business  
But still knowin' this shit could pop off at any minute cuz

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme  
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'  
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it  
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?  
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'

We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'  
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him  
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him  
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him  
Fuck it 50 smash 'em, mash 'em and let him have it  
Meanwhile my attention is pullin' in other directions  
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk  
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection  
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record  
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up  
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous  
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'  
Well fuck it, that mutherfucker can get it too, fuck him then

But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think  
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.  
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind  
We still have soldiers that's on the front line  
That's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders  
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us  
We'll maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus  
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is  
To have Runyan Ave and who sulked us up in our corners  
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is  
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered  
There ain't words that I can't think of a perfecter way to word it

Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the virdict  
I'll walk away from it all before I let it go any further  
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'  
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man  
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at your jaws with the knockin'  
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'  
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz

Step by step, heart to heart, left right left  
We all fall down like toy soldiers  
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win  
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

Maybe it was because the pain hurt too much, maybe its because my heart was no longer broken, but it was shattered, and maybe it was because god was leaving me out by now and telling me that my life was over that it was time to take a new path, a dark path of blood and screaming torture. I _had_ changed, I _was_ darker, I _became_ that which I had feared with my in tier being and the horrible thing was I loved the Monster I had become, being this thing was what I was destined to be It was meant for me and I was embracing it with full force, I was now a _real_ Vampire. I'd be dammed if I wasn't enjoying every minute of it, my Master was watching me with intent eyes noticing my changes, let him see them, let him know them, let him desire them, I knew that's what he was doing.

I loved it when he had to bit his lip to the point fresh blood poured from his lip just so he wouldn't hold me down and take me then and there, he would someday soon, he wasn't right now only because my former lover had been killed. I went on a rampage then, killing any and all who stood before me, my innocent self was gone at that moment, at that moment I lost the battle with my inner monster, it was set free from the hold of my locked up mind.

I hated being a little girl and I had to set several people straight after that, including my Master's, Master, Integra Hellsing she had always thought me too innocent to be a vampire and I walked right up to her and flat out said "I'm no innocent little _human_ girl anymore miss Integra I am Seras Victoria Hellsing True Vampire no longer am I a child do not treat me as such and I want real missions." And now I go on killing missions with my Master Alucard. She clued in and anyone else who pissed me off that was on my office either died or got the shit beat out of them, Master says I'm finally a true vampire and that means I have to drink. My remark to that was I do drink blood taste amazing I'm not like I used to be. I train twice as hard now too, from the time the sun goes down to the time it comes up I shoot with my gun to targets and so far I have not missed the targets like I did when I was a new vampire, so naïve…so idiotic, …not anymore though. I learned to street fight and I learned martial arts and right now my uncle D is teaching me how to fight hardcore with long swords and we often have matches and I always lose, but someday I'll beat him in his spot with barely a flick of the wrist because how hard I'm working.

Creepy was not in my vocabulary nor was scary, fearful, or pain, they are all words that won't be exercised by me I no longer show fear, I no longer show when I'm hurt, I no longer fear anything, and I sure as hell am not creepy I am terrifying. On this particular dreary night I was in an extremely pissed mood because Integra band me from going on the next mission. It all started out on the training field I was doing all my normal exercises when some female recruits whom were new walked past me and giggled and were whispering about how funny I looked, so I turned and got my 'I'm gonna kill you' look on my face and they kind of stared but snorted at me.

"What's that look gonna do…I'm SOO scared." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and believe me she wasn't going to be scared she was going to be terrified.

"Stupid…you even look stupid." The burnet hair girl said next to the black hair girl they were going to think stupid.

"Leave me now or you'll regret it." I said my voice dripping with ice and hatred and the black hair girl grimaced but stood her ground, for that she gained my respect and for that she was so screwed over.

"What are you going to do I'm not scared!" She cried but I knew she was because she was keeping herself from trembling and if I did what I wanted to do Master Integra would kill me so I turned to stalk off but that human girl came at me with the remark

"Yeah you better walk away!" That did it I was going to kill her with out remorse now so I turned spinning on my heals.

"Excuse me." I said and gave my lightest glare knowing good and well that it would be enough to send her over the edge which it was but that damn human held her ground.

"You heard me you better walk away." Bitch was pushing it.

"Do you know who I am?" I asked flaring at the stupid girl. "I am Seras Victoria _Hellsing" _The look on her face was priceless but she was dammed to hell for insulting me. "I am the Fledgling of Alucard Tsepes Hellsing!" I nearly yelled, the girl with black hair didn't hear the stories from the look on her face but the girl with burnet hair had from the horrified look on her face. _ Good be afraid!_

"T-That's a lie your trying to scare me! It's not going to work your no vampire!" She screamed at me, yup well this bitch was never going to see the light of day after this it was the end of her life, I grinned, My cheeks turning into folds, just like my Masters.

"Well let me show you how much of a vampire I am…" I said lowering my sunglasses to show her my flaring red eyes, and she jumped backwards, I threw my sunglasses off allowing the girl to view my eyes fully as they swirled and glowed she was in for a little surprise.

My blonde hair over shadowed my face, calmly tickling the top of my fore head, my eyes were red and furious from that little bitch and it showed through my blonde hair, they were glowing a red that had shows up when I'm angry, I can feel it. My shadow behind me danced with rage, moving around and around and around, and my aura flared like a snake striking an opened. I sent out waves of hatred so this girl could not move an inch, she plastered to the ground in front of her, she began to tremble with fear and thus I inhaled deeply and held the sweet sour scent of fear, and with a sigh I released it into the surrounding atmosphere and took another long holding breath, man I love the smell of fear, and I love the smell of hate, it was radiating off her body, but fear drowned out the hate for me, I laughed then. I laughed long and hard and sinisterly, like master dose when he kills things, I liked killing things now too, the war of FREAKS, Vampires, Human, werewolves, and everything else under the sun, had changed me, had turned me like this, and I drank blood for the first time during this war.

My arms began to swivel and from the tips of my fingers my hand began to turn into pure shadow, the transformation of black traveled lovingly up my arm turning it to shadow as well, and then my other arm slowly began turning into the same dark shadow, dancing with life and begging me to kill something, begging me to let it lose and kill, and I was craving it as well. Her face turned upside down as my arms became a shadow and began to dance with Hell, she was going to regret ever meeting up with Seras Victoria. My arms began to extended and reach out to her grabbing her frozen form and rapping her up tighter, what to do first. Drain her, actually eat her, or do both, but which first. I pondered as she continued screaming and then with a bigger grin on my face I bit into her neck, Hard. She screamed more and wiggled around a lot, but after awhile became still, and I consumed her.

"Now are you going to be the same as your friend or are you going to take off running like a smart human." I said lightly as the girl looked at me with horror I could have laughed it all of but she was a smart little human and took off running like the wind, oh it felt great and I was full.

Integra found out later and told me that I couldn't go on the next mission for killing an innocent girl, but that girl had deserved it, she had pushed my buttons and that's never good to push my buttons. My Master acted a bit different around me now as well, he didn't treat me like I was a little girl, he treated me like an ally or as a really close friend, I liked being treated as an equal not as a child or as a daughter, but I also knew something that he didn't know I knew, he wanted me. Yes my "father" had changed his mind and decided he wanted me for his own, but I wouldn't just go to him and say you can have me, I don't work like that. No he would have to win my heart over like a normal vampire would win anyone over, and to myself silently, I did want him too. I am lusting for him more than he is lusting for me, I want his blood, and I want his body on mine, but I could wait until he made some kind of sign that he really did want me.

I reeled around the corner and headed down the stairs to the basement, my coffin was moved to Masters room, he said he want to make sure I was not killing to many people at once. As if I was killing to many people and to often, maybe I was but who cares anyway. I walked into our room and found him sitting in his chair he appeared deep in thought, I didn't know what about but he was drinking red wine, and I wanted some of it, but I held myself from him, he was having an inter turmoil right now and the last person to bring me out of that I cut their head off, and got band from the mission that night. It sucked. I walked over to my coffin and opened the lid but I felt Master place his hand on my shoulder, he spun me around and looked into my red eyes, he scanned my face over and I felt a little uncomfortable but I ignored it and let him do what he wanted, I was his.

"Would you like some wine, Seras." I nodded, and did I mention he stopped calling me police girl, joy to me, I hate that name, Pip lost his balls for calling me that, and I ended up kissing him so they would heal, you know vampire saliva heels wounds and sicknesses, Master walked over and shut the door then poured me a glass of wine.

"Here" he said handing it too me, and I took it from his hands gently and a swirled it in my glass and took a deep breath, taking in the smell of the wine, and then took a small sip of it and let it roll over my tongue, then I nodded at the taste, this was really good wine, and then I took three more sips, just like Master had taught me to do.

"Its wonderful wine Master." I said taking another sip and when I looked up at Master again his eyes were burning with desire and all I could do was stare back at him as he stepped closer, he wanted something from me, and I knew exactly what that would be, and I wasn't scared of this like I would have been so long ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 YAY FOR SEX!!!

Master bit his lip as hard as he could mange, trying to fight of the urge to take me, because I had not been taken before, I was fresh, and I knew that he was really holding back for me, he gained more respect the second he removed himself from me and went back to drinking the wine. He looked at me again, his eyes scanning my face and then moving down to my neck and traveling down to my breasts and lingering on them and then he moved lower, staring me over real good. In the blink of an eye he was on top of me, he had my hands pinned down on the floor by my wrists and he moved his face to my neck, and he nuzzled it tightly. I could feel him harden and I knew he was killing himself over this, I had the notion to let him take me, he could if wanted to, he knew that quiet well, I knew that, he was holding off for my sake and his breathing quickened tremendously.

"Seras…" His voice tight and morning, he was nearly begging, I liked it when he begged like that, it made me feel strong, it made me feel in control, and I hated it when he begged me, it wasn't right on him, Master begging me just didn't suit him in the least bit.

I kept my silence and said nothing.

"I…will not take you so easily…you arouse me horrifically…You make my blood rise but I will not take you…not yet…" Was not expecting that in the least, and with that he pulled away from me and let me up, he set his wine down an fled to exit the room, but I need him to hear my thoughts first.

"And when you do Master, I will not protest." He turned to stared at me with a blank look and then a grin passed over his face, telling me he'd be ready awfully soon, and he walked out of the room, blank and back to his old self, he was, after all, a bastard.

I am not stupid. I am not a child. I know things you wouldn't think I'd know. He was one of them. When he took me, he wanted it to be painful, he wanted to torture me. And after that he wanted to mate me, make me his own, and force me to be a slave to him, his word being law, and I knew it, and I was preparing myself for it, knowing damn well it will be soon. I was slowly returning to my old self, I won't ever be the exact same but I will not like pain soon, and I will not be blood thirsty soon, and when I am like that again, with a sadistic grin, he will pin me down and tear my cloths away from my body and take me then and there. For now though I was Simi free and right now I wanted to sleep. With a grudging look on my face I crawled into bed and closed my eyes letting sleep consume my eyes.

Two weeks later…

My eyes fluttered open slowly to the soft call of my name "Seras…" I blinked twice and looked around as darkness filled the room, and something about me is different, oh shit. I felt around and swing my coffin open and looked around me to see a blood pack on my night stand, I stuck my tong out in disgust, and My blood thirsty time period ended and now I knew. I knew now. It was time, he was going to take me, and for the first time in a long time, fear filled my eyes and my heart beat raced in my chest, I am not ready for this, I'm just not, not yet. I looked around the room where I saw my Master looking at me, he wasn't in a lustful mood yet, he'd just got up, and that calmed me a little bit. He raised an eye brow sensing my fear and I spat out at him, "Yes I know I'm chicken shit!" But I regret that now because he had me against a wall so fast I couldn't blink. He grabbed my wrist and with all his might, chunked me against the opposite wall. I dropped to my knee's and then I forced myself up and glared at him best I could. It was icy, to match his own, but he grinned and rose his fist to me and I braced myself.

With all his might he belted me across the face and I was sent into the wall again and straight down onto the ground, bastard. I tried to sit up using one arm to put me in a half sitting position and used my other to grip the place where he had hit me, bastard. I looked at the blood trickling out of my mouth, and with all the hatred I felt I looked up at him again, and his hair was over his face, a pissed off look clear on his features. With out my permission, tears began falling down my face, I tried to stop them but it was just no use he'd hurt me really bad, I looked down at my blood stained skirt, I know he hates me and all, but that hurt really bad. I felt him grinning at my pain, and looking down on me with disgust, but I looked up at him and glared again, he kicked me in the stomach and I whimpered loudly, god just kill me why don't you. I fell face first into the floor and tears continued down my face, but he wasn't done. He lifted me off the ground and into his arms grinning like he was having the time of his life, while I cried and ached.

"I think I'm ready to take you now." He said a glint in his eyes and before I could stop the words that left my mouth next it was already to late, and he did just what I said. "Why don't you just chain me to a wall, fuck me and beat me, and then leave me down there for your pleaser when you have had a bad day! Then your all good!" And horror struck my face, what was happening to me, and his grin became wider, more sadistic, why was I born blonde and with that on his face he said, "How about I chain you up in my coffin instead."

He opened his coffin lid and shoved me inside, I didn't understand but we were cramped and then all of the sudden we were falling down, like the coffin had opened up at the bottom and we hit something soft, I looked around, astonished, his coffin was HUGE! I mean the inside was, like magic had made it big on the inside and no outside, so the coffin was like a room, but it was only a giant bed, and the sheets were silky red, there was a small red light, but that was all, the pillows were silk as well, the whole room, was like one big bed and the words escaped my lips. "H-How?" My eyes turned to him and I remembered my little comment and he set me on the bed and chains rapped around my wrists tightly and drug me over to the wall of his coffin. I was not dangling from the wall but chained up so I could lay down in the bed and move around on the bed a little. What had I gotten myself into?

Normal POV

Seras looked up from the spot she was chained to on the wall, still bloodied up and Alucard grinned more as he crawled over to her. She began to shake a little, fearful of what he was going to do to her, and he knew very well what he was going to do to her. He loved it when she was so afraid of him. He was directly onto of her, pinning her down to the bed while she was still in chains. Her fear flashed in her eyes, over her face, running through her veins. He pressed his member up against her women hood, to scare her, he was going to do everything he wanted to her, and he was going to make her do all kinds of things to him, but first, he bent down and bit her neck, but it was not painful, it felt amazing. She moaned and was confused about why he was pleasuring her not hurting her, but he must have been enjoying her blood, because he moaned as well and pulled away from her. She stared at him with wide terrified red eyes, and he bent down and captured her lips. She didn't know how to react but he snapped in her mind _kiss me back!_ With a slight whimper she did exactly that, and let him do what he wanted with her.

He pulled away from her, and his eyes looked over her body, and lust filled those red eyes that he owned.

"Stand." He commanded and she has no room to argue as she stood before him and he got his cheek splitting grin, "Undress." He said in a firm voice, the chains on Seras wrist set themselves free over her for now, after all she couldn't get out of his coffin, and placed her hand slightly on the top of her shirt button.

With all the grace she could muster she began un buttoning the top of her shirt and moved her hands all the way down her shirt, unbuttoning the buttons one after the other, Alucard watched her with his same sadistic grin in place and he prided in her. She let her hands trail the cloth before tossing it aside and reviling her large filled out breasts, supple, and oh so perfect, he reached out and stroked one softly then in a husky voice he whispered, "Continue." and she began wiggling out of her skirt and let it slip past her knee's, she felt like an idiot. He growled with anxiety and grabbed Seras by the knee's pulling her down to the bed. He straddled her, placing both hands on the side of her face, and one knee rested on each side of her thighs, Seras felt him harden under her, he was aroused easily by her. His hair fell over her face and tickled her cheeks slightly and he grinned at her. She looked up at him and he lowered his head, and with all the passion he could muster, he kissed Seras on the lips, and she kissed him back, despite her fear, they began to dance, and her slipped his tong in her mouth, and their tongs did battle for a long time. Heat imitated from their bodies and passion filled them, and Seras's fear was subsiding a bit. He pulled away from her, and with a smirk on his face he said lowly, "Now…undress me…" Her hands shook as she raised her hands to take his shirt, and with a quick pace in mind she pulled it up over his head, then she shimmied her hands down to hi pants and pulled them off in a swift motion, and he wiggled out of his boxers, completely exposed.

Seras completely forgot her fear as she gazed at the beauty in front of her, his body was shimmering with light and an urge to have him inside her grew between her legs, she wanted him to take her now. She began to pull her black lace bra and panties from her body but he stopped her with his hand over hers and he whispered quietly, "Allow me…" His hands worked like a professnal's and he had the bra off in seconds with out ripping it and he laid her down again and stared at the mounds of flesh, they were drenched, good, he had aroused her too. He took one of his hands and traced a circle around the nipple, and then he lowerd his head to the plum plush flesh, and he stuck his toung out and began tracing circles around the pick bump with it. Seras arched her back and a moan escaped her lips as he did this, then he let the entire form slip into his mouth, Seras moaned loud and long as Alucard sucked and pulled on the mound of flesh, and she felt herself wet slightly in her woman hood, Alucard realed the first brest and moved over to the second, giving it the same treatment as the first. Seras moaned loud an long and Alucard pulled away from her and sat up. He picked her up and placed her hovoring over his member. She looked up at him confused and her eyes showed she had no clue what her wanted her to do, and he utterd a word. "Suck."

Her face twisted in scorn but she lowerd her head, her lips parted and she took part of his member in her mouth, he moaned loudly and ran his fingers through her hair, begging her to countinue. She took more in, and he moaned again, louder this time, she she began sucking, hard, moving her mouth all the way down and then bring it back, moving slow at first, but Alucard feral growl sped her up and her mouth moved faster and faster, and Alucard moaned and arched his back as he came to his climax but her pulled her off of him and shoved her rouchly down on the bed, confusing her. He tore through her panties and hoverd near her face and with a solem serious look on him face he explained to her, "This will hurt like a son of a bitch." And with that she nodded and he thrust into her. The pain that over welmed her execeed that of anything she had ever felt, and tears sprang forth from her eyes and rooled down her cheeks, the flesh of her barriers tore and ripped and she squirnmmed right and left, then Alucard pulled out for a brief moment and then plunged back in. He then reapeated the process, and her grew wide with pleasure and she arched her back foword and he thrust into again, a little more forcefully, then he raced, pluging in and out of her at a un-human speed and Seras picked up the pace as well meeting him and his thrust and they fell in a place.

Soon both reached there Climax and both reasled at the same time where Alucards seed filled Seras and he laid back down on the bed next to her pulling her on top of his chest, Seras sighed..

"Now your mine for ever…" and they fell into a peaceful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry to say that I will be deleting this story, it sucks any way we all know it, besides I only got one review and it was an honest one so screw all you peoples, thanks for the review and all I appreciate it, even if it was sorta a flame, thankz any way.


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